- irritable male syndrome, men's health and male menopause
Live Long and Well

The Irritable Male Syndrome: Managing the 4 key Causes of Male Depression and Aggression  The Whole Man Program: Reinvigorating Your Body, Mind, and Spirit After 40  Surviving Male Menopause  Male Menopause - check out Jed's workshop tapes and CDs

Men and Depression

A Men's Health Issue


The most common problem associated with male menopause is depression which is closely related to impotence and problems with male sexuality. Approximately 40% of men in their 40s, 50s and 60s will experience some degree of difficulty in attaining and sustaining erections, lethargy, depression, increased irritability, and mood swings that characterize male menopause. The symptoms of depression in men are commonly not recognized for several reasons:

The symptoms of male depression are different than the classic symptoms we think of as depression
Men deny they have problems because they are supposed to "be strong"
Men deny they have a problem with their sexuality and don't understand the relationship with depression
The symptom cluster of male depression is not well known so family members, physicians, and mental health professionals fail to recognize it.

Male depression is a disease with devastating consequences. To paraphrase from Jed Diamond's book Male Menopause

80% of all suicides in the US are men
The male suicide rate at midlife is three times higher; for men over 65, seven times higher
The history of depression makes the risk of suicide seventy-eight times greater (Sweden)
20 million American will experience depression sometimes in their lifetime
60-80% of depressed adults never get professional help
It can take up to ten years and three health professionals to properly diagnose this disorder
80-90% of people seeking help get relief from their symptoms

Differences between Male and Female depression:


Men are more likely to act out their inner turmoil while women are more likely to turn their feelings inward. The following chart from Jed Diamond's book Male Menopause illustrates these differences.


Female depression

Male depression

Blame themselves

Feel others are to blame

Feel sad, apathetic, and worthless

Feel angry, irritable, and ego inflated

Feel anxious and scared

Feel suspicious and guarded

Avoids conflicts at all costs

Creates conflicts

Always tries to be nice

Overtly or covertly hostile

Withdraws when feeling hurt

Attacks when feeling hurt

Has trouble with self respect

Demands respect from other

Feels they were born to fail

Feels the world set them up to fail

Slowed down and nervous

Restless and agitated

Chronic procrastinator

Compulsive time keeper

Sleeps too much

Sleeps too little

Trouble setting boundaries

Needs control at all costs

Feels guilty for what they do

Feels ashamed for who they are

Uncomfortable receiving praise

Frustrated if not praised enough

Finds it easy to talk about weaknesses and doubts

Terrified to talk about weaknesses and doubts

Strong fear of success

Strong fear of failure

Needs to "blend in" to feel safe

Needs to be "top dog" to feel safe

Uses food, friends, and "love" to self-medicate

Uses alcohol, TV, sports, and sex to self medicate

Believe their problems could be solved only if they could be a better (spouse, co-worker, parent, friend)

Believe their problems could be solved only if their (spouse, co-worker, parent, friend) would treat them better

Constantly wonder, "Am I loveable enough?"

Constantly wonder, "Am I being loved enough?"

Check out Jed's own story of depression.


Need help now?

I offer two options for help: (1) Personal counseling with me and (2) My new internet-based program.

  1. If you think you may need counseling help, feel free to contact me at (If you're new, be sure and respond to my spamarrest notice so I receive your e-mail.) I offer immediate help in my office or by phone.
  2. Are you a man who is overstressed, frustrated, and angry? Are you a woman who walks on egg shells afraid you will set him off? Is your relationship suffering? This program is for you. To get help CLICK HERE.
Click here to check out Jed's IMS Aliveguide

MenAlive seeks to enrich men's relationships with themselves, their families, and their communities.

MenAlive focuses on male menopause as a critical bridge to the second half of life. We focus on the Irritable Male Syndrome and men and depression, to prepare men to cross that bridge. We address the hormonal, physical, psychological, interpersonal, sexual, nutritional, economic, social, ecological, and spiritual aspects of men's health and act as an influential source of timely information, resources, products and community centered events on male menopause and men's health, for men and the women who love them.

Home | Irritable Male | Male menopause | Male Depression | For Women | Books, tapes | About Jed Diamond | Blog | Other Resources | E-mail Jed

Copyright © 1998-2005 Jed Diamond and Bert H. Hoff | WebMaster Bert H. Hoff, creator of MenWeb and Men's Voices quarterly.